Argus cycle tour Sunday is one of my favourite days of the year. The traffic stops. Nobody goes anywhere. We’re grounded. The only way out of here, I suppose, is to walk. Or cycle. Or call a helicopter.

So it’s nice and quiet and peaceful.

The only thing I hear from my living room is a gathering of neighbours cheering on the river of cyclists as it rounds the corner of Boyes Drive and rushes down to the sea. Occasional whoops and yelps. That, and the voice of an roadside official ricocheting between mountain and sea: ‘Slow down, slow down, slow down’.

If you say so.

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